[Closed] Admin application, PulkownikAndrzejKmicic

[PulkownikAndrzejKmicic]

Disclaimer: Sorry if the thread doesn't actually belong here. I figured it does since it's my response to the response to my original admin application, and the original topic was just immediately locked without giving me any opportunity to respond.

Anyway.

https://nwpublic.eu/thread-790.html

"2. "I won't lie and will admit that being respected by most players feeds my ego and I want that to come back."

Number 2 has told me that you aren't the type of admin this server needs. Admining Minisiege isn't about being respected just because you are an admin or a platform for feeding egos. It's about people dedicating their time to better the server for the average Minisiege player.
Therefore, I am denying your admin application, as I do not have trust in players that try to utilise a position for their own good/ego etc.

Cheers.
- Loifas"


I just wanted to pop in to let you know that your attitude really disappointed me.
You took a sentence out of a long description of why I want to become admin and made an assumption about what a terrible person I am.
Maybe I didn't express myself well enough. I did not mean that I want to be admin just to have people respect me for the fact that I am an admin on the server. I was referring to the fact that I generally used to be a good admin and that was the thing that generally seemed to make people respect me.
That's what I was talking about. Not that I want to become admin and just throw my weight around or for some kind of personal gain.

Anyway, I popped in here because I just wanted to tell you how disappointed and misunderstood you made me feel. But maybe that's for the better. Because in order to do a good job as admin I need my superior to be supportive, understanding, not arrogant, etc. I also need my superior to trust me and not make assumptions about me and then use these wrong assumptions when taking decisions that will negatively affect me - which is exactly what you have done. I simply cannot trust a superior like that. 
The time when I was admin on a small minecraft server was when I had a boss like this - in hindsight I shouldn't have put up with him and just quit because he was a bit of a wanker and was generally very incompetent. Eventually he made the server die due to some unfair bans which made the few people who played there quit for good. That meant that there was no more donations and he himself had no funds to continue hosting an empty server for himself and his few mates. (Which by the way was only 20PLN per month, which is probably only £4 if I got it right)
I can't tell you how good I felt - on one hand it was a shame because it was a fun server overall, but not having him above me anymore was a great relief. You have no idea how good it felt to be free from that loser! Fuck me. How many times did I have to show up on teamspeak and chat with him and pretend that I like him or that I don't think he is a knob etc. Such a relief.

The day the server shut down I made a promise to myself that I will never again have a boss that I hate. I kept that promise and I only became admin on servers that had good admins. I found that a good head admin is what junior admins need in order to thrive and do an amazing job. This was true for all the servers I would admin after the previous one - except the siege on native which had practically no admins whatsoever, but it was still kind of good because I had freedom to just get down to it and not have to explain anything to superiors etc. I also had to take initiative a lot of times, talk to players and listen to their complaints - of which there were many, particularly about serial teamkillers against which we had no scripts that would auto ban, only auto kick - etc. 
Compared with the time when my superior was shit, the times when I could just do my job without having to suck up to an arsehole boss was the best. It gave me a lot of satisfaction and also helped me meet plenty of cool people and groups in M&B and MTA.

It is a shame you have decided that I would be a shit admin for your server. But I suppose it is your server so choose whoever you like.

[Bethrezen]

I was referring to the fact that I generally used to be a good admin and that was the thing that generally seemed to make people respect me.

So you haven't really been misunderstood. You do want to be a "good admin" to get respect. We have a general bad experience with admins who want to feed their ego.
First of all, a "good admin" is subjective and considering you've just applied and we would need to take your word for it, you considering yourself a "good admin" doesn't really mean anything for us.
Secondly, we do our "jobs" as per the server rules; an action you take as an admin doesn't always earn you respect, points, +rep etc.
For example, our head admin didn't get any respect from you, for dismissing your application.

The fact that you didn't follow our application template either, would have been a minor thing, but says something more about you. Ego + not following rules. These rules are not something imposed by the "boss", by the "leader", but something we worked for as a community here for years. It's our whole admin team who contributed and agreed upon these changes over the years.
Our head admin is not some evil, authoritarian boss; it's just the admin who wants to take on the most challenging aspects of admining Minisiege, like making the most difficult decisions.


Wish you all the best

[Loifas]

Bethrezen has summed up the main points very well, so I will just put in my own words here.

Firstly I apologise if you took any offence. Past admin experiences with Ego's have had long lasting negative effects on Minisiege, something we cannot risk again.
NW still suffers from toxic players with large Ego's, hence extreme reluctance when "respected" and "Ego" etc. are thrown into sentences.
If someone makes it clear to us that they're doing this for the community and not themselves, then myself, seniors and game admins try to welcome them with open arms and learning support.

I will highlight this: "something we worked for as a community here for years."
This is not a job or a serious organisation, but something many players (many who have came and gone) for years have built on a old game for people to continue playing on, during their free time.

Thanks,
Loifas

[PulkownikAndrzejKmicic]

So you haven't really been misunderstood. You do want to be a "good admin" to get respect. We have a general bad experience with admins who want to feed their ego.
Secondly, we do our "jobs" as per the server rules; an action you take as an admin doesn't always earn you respect, points, +rep etc.

This must be a language barrier between us I think. I must have misused the word ego and that's why you are taking me for whoever you are taking me for now.
What I mean by respect is this:
I do something as an admin and I get players' feedback which could be anything, starting from a simple thank you to telling me that I am a good admin, whichever. This tells me that my action improved that person's life on the server and make the experience more enjoyable for them. This makes me feel good as it is the main reason I am admin - to improve the server as a whole, stop rule breakers from spoiling the experience for others, and generally make sure that people have a nice, safe place to enjoy themselves playing the game.
It would make me feel very bad if I were told that I am abusing my admin powers, not punishing trolls or punishing wrong people - because it's the opposite of what I want to do.
And let me return to the point about "ego". I guess what I was really trying to say is that getting this "respect" from people is like a reward for me. Like you know, a virtue is its own reward. 
It gives me great satisfaction to get good feedback, although it is not the reason I am admin, nor is it something that I will be trying to get. But if I get it as a by-product of my doing a good job then I will take it.

I really can't express it any better than this. If you still don't get me then whatever.

The fact that you didn't follow our application template either, would have been a minor thing, but says something more about you. Ego + not following rules.

I did follow the template. You are talking absolute rubbish.

[Callum]

"I won't lie and will admit that being respected by most players feeds my ego and I want that to come back."

You said that on your application though. Probably need to address that if you really want to convince them that you are able to be admin. At least you were honest though

[PulkownikAndrzejKmicic]

Hi. It has been ages since the last reply so it probably doesn't matter anyway, but I thought I would clear this up because I think I have just understood what the problem was.

When I said "feed my ego" I simply used the wrong term. In my native language, the word "ego" is used so rarely that personally I did not actually know its meaning. I figured it means the same as "pride", but I have recently found out that it's more like pride + vanity (which is bad).
What I was actually meaning to say was that I took pride in doing my job well, not that it gave me some kind of sense of my own importance or whatever.

So this

So you haven't really been misunderstood. You do want to be a "good admin" to get respect. We have a general bad experience with admins who want to feed their ego.

I totally get it, and sorry that I didn't make myself clear on that one. No, I did not mean that I want to get respect for being an admin. And I also know exactly what you mean by bad experiences with admins like that. The decisions made by such admins lead people to abandoning communities and that causes servers to eventually die. All that is left after that are just memories of what once used to be a fun server to hang around on.

Bethrezen has summed up the main points very well, so I will just put in my own words here.

Firstly I apologise if you took any offence. Past admin experiences with Ego's have had long lasting negative effects on Minisiege, something we cannot risk again.
NW still suffers from toxic players with large Ego's, hence extreme reluctance when "respected" and "Ego" etc. are thrown into sentences.

Once again, I know exactly what you mean and sorry that I used the wrong words. In your place I too would be wary of anyone wanting to join the admin team to have their ego massaged.
I guess I didn't take offence but was rather expecting you to clear up any misunderstandings before jumping to conclusions. You didn't do that but instead declared that I am a rule-breaker straight away. That took me aback, although now I can see exactly where you're coming from.

And on the note of not following the template:
When I made my application, I used the previous applications as kind of a "guide" of what you want to see in it. Pretty much all of them have the question at the end "Why do you want to become admin?:"
When I started a new thread, that section was gone. But since you had never mentioned anything about that in any previous applications, I assumed that it is an error and the question was supposed to be there. That's why I added it.
I mean if you try to start a ban request against someone you get a template that's clearly wrong as well because there is a clause asking you for "Date and hour of your ban/mute".
Since everyone was adding that question in their applications, I thought it would be a bad thing not to do the same. I never would have dreamed that actually I should not be doing that at all :O

At any rate, I hope this explained things to you - even if it took me centuries to realise what the issue was.